spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
