i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
