It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
