What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
