it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
