Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
