I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
