do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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