brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
