My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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