Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
