I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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