beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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