his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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