my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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