Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She announced her abortion via fbk
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
