i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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