I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
