anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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