fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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