my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
