Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i came on her dog
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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