We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
