Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
