Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
