my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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