In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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