U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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