Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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