i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
