Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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