This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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