After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
