porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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