Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I can't put those talents on a resume
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
