I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
