And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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