I accidentally burped into my bong.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
smell my finger.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
