He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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