I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
