benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
