he puts the penis in happiness.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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