Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
