apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
