My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
