Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
