idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
