Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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