i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
