fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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