just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
