I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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