Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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