Well apparently he's into motor boating.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
