sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
