I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
