Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
